Our Fathers/Crossing the Threshold Into Adulthood

When we were younger we never realized how good we had it. When we were younger we didn't have a full understanding of what love was. We didn't understand adulthood, money, work, or family. We were just kids. We went to school, we took class pictures, we played at recess, and we had sleepovers. We went through the motions of a privileged childhood.

And even though our childhoods weren't adorned with taxi cabs, rich woven bedspreads, and expensive dinners, we still got to school on time. We all got our shots. And we were able to play on the basketball team. What more could kids ask for? We didn't know that we were privileged. We didn't know what all we had.

We didn't know that while we played Power Rangers with our friends after school, our dads were toiling away to make sure the lives we had were good enough. We didn't know the purpose behind singing in the choir, performing Christmas pageants, or playing tee ball.

But now that we're older, we've grown up, and we see that we never could have been the same if it weren't for tee ball.

What if I hadn't spent those summers coming up the ranks of the little league field? Would I be the same person today? Would I have the same friends? How much would our lives be different if our fathers hadn't wanted us to play little league baseball?

We sucked down juice boxes and dreamed of big league glory when all the while our fathers stood on the sideline coaching us to be the men and women that they wanted us to be.

We didn't know then that some day we'd have to grow up and replace the men that formed us. We didn't know at that time we would someday be expected to coach and to lead others.

There comes a point in growing up when you realize your life is never again going to be the same as it once was. When you realize that, and you move forward with your own life, and begin to take care of others besides yourself, it is then that you reach adulthood. I come to so many situations now in my life when I feel I am giving advice or instruction to those around me who are younger or more inexperienced than I am, and it makes me feel like an adult to be in that situation. It's strange to be my age and to be able to say, "well, when I was in your shoes, I did this..." But it keeps coming up.

It's hard to believe that I have grown up at all, but I guess when I look back at things, and look at how much more my younger siblings still have to face, I realize that I actually have come a long way.

My younger brothers are growing up in a completely different way than I and my sister did, and I'll probably never get over that. I'll never feel like they got the experiences that I did. They didn't get exposed to the same things, and more so, they don't appreciate the same things that I did and do now. This upsets me. But there is a generational gap among us and there will be more generational gaps among other groups further on down the line in society.

This is why our fathers passed down their behaviors to us to pass down to others. This is why they struggled so hard to make us appreciate what we had. We used to recite the Our Father and the Pledge of Allegiance day after day, not knowing what any of it really meant.

We used to sing in unison, "My country 'tis of thee/sweet land of liberty/of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died/land of thy pilgrim's pride..."

We referred to our fathers often, and without hesitation.

Now that our fathers have died, and this land becomes ours, will we know what to do with it?