What are you doing now?

When I went home for Thanksgiving, I was dreading getting that question over and over again. That's the one thing I dislike about seeing people I haven't seen in a while. They always want to know what you're up to. I suppose I should relish their interest into my activities, but lately I feel like I always give a disappointing answer to that question. And this time, the answer to the question is even more disappointing, because I don't have a tangible answer.

I guess I've gotten to that point in my life where I have to actually give a genuine answer, and that answer is something that should be carried out until its fulfillment. It has to be a satisfactory answer.

The answer to the question should no longer be the question itself. "What are you doing now?" What am I doing now?

I don't even know.

But it's strange that this sudden unplanned visit home occurred right at the point when I think I figured out the answer. I probably would still be disappointing for some, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I have direction. I feel like I have a purpose and I know where I'm going and I know what I have to do to get there.

I still can't answer the question the right way, though. For me to answer the question the correct way, those asking wouldn't even need to ask the question, because they would know already what I'm doing, or I would have something to show for what I'm doing.

I will probably always be unsatisfied by what I've done or what I've been doing, because I always feel like I have more to do. But I guess giving an update every once in a while is reasonable.

So, that's what I'm doing now.