You Are Not Ready For This...

...but I'm going to tell you anyway.

A revelation hit me the other day that was so profound, so intellectual, and so far beyond the grasp of any normal human being, that I could hardly believe it myself.  What I am about to unravel is a typhoon of wisdom.  I am going to expound an unprecedented spout of information that may very well change your life.

If Einstein were still alive, and if he read this, HE might even have a brain aneurism.

The boroughs of New York City are like the houses of Hogwart's.

The individual villages or boroughs, that are separated by bodies of water, yet within the city limits, that make up the population of the city of New York, each bear a resemblance to the individual houses of Hogwart's School for Wizardry and Witchcraft.

I know this is a tough concept to grasp, but just sit tight, I will lead you through this.

When a student is admitted to Hogwart's, he or she is sorted into one of the individual houses, named after the original founding members of Hogwart's, where the student then stays and lives for the next seven years, throughout the rest of their wizarding education.  Each house has its own personality.  Each is unique in what it offers to the student, what it brings to the school, and what kind of student it produces.

Similarly, when a person moves to New York, a person must decide which borough to live in. Each borough represents something vastly different about New York.  Each borough has a distinctly different population and personality.  And like the houses compete with each other for points and the House Cup, the boroughs compete metaphorically for which really is the TRUE New York.

Each house has a head, as each borough has a borough president.  Each house has a common room, as each borough has a great big park.  Each house has its own symbol or shield, as each borough has a distinctive accent.  Each house has a ghost that haunts the school, as each borough has the ghost of a baseball legend that still lives on in the memories of those who care about ghosts...or baseball.

The boroughs can each identify with one of the houses, if maybe only slightly.  But for posterity's sake, I'm going to compare each borough with its corresponding representation in the Harry Potter series.

The Bronx is clearly Slytherin, because the Bronx is scary.  Slytherin has always been well-known for turning out evil-doers and being the dark house.  That's not to say that everything or everybody in the Bronx is evil.  Nor is everything in Slytherin.  Surely, there are good parts to both, including Yankee Stadium and the Zoo.  But even the name Slytherin has an ominous air about it, much like parts of the Bronx.

Queens is Hufflepuff.  Both are pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.  They are both just kind of there.  They have to be there to even out the geography.  When you meet somebody who lives in Hufflepuff, or Queens, they might tell you, "I live in Queens" and you might say, "Oh.  Well, see ya."

Those two houses are certain.  The last two houses are up for slight debate, although I've reached a conclusion that some people might not agree on.

Ravenclaw is Manhattan.  This only determined by living status, though.  Though the majority of activity in New York takes place in Manhattan, the people who reside here resemble those who live in Ravenclaw.  Ravenclaw is for the intellectuals, the elite.  And people who live in Manhattan definitely have a little bit of an attitude about how where they live is a little bit better than anywhere else.

Which leaves Gryffindor, everyone's favorite house containing everyone's favorite heroes.  And Gryffindor is naturally Brooklyn.  It is for the brave, the noble, the loyal, the clever, and the courageous.  All the coolest characters in the books and all the most well-known wizards come from Gryffindor, which is fitting, because all the coolest characters and all the most well-known New Yorkers come from Brooklyn.  It's a very famous part of New York.  And it is home to Spike Lee, Woody Allen, and George Gershwin, while Gryffindor is home to Dumbledore, Hagrid, and especially Harry Potter.

Brooklyn has the largest population of the boroughs of New York, and while that may not be true of Gryffindor, certainly the majority of the characters that are named all come from Gryffindor, making it seem like Gryffindor has the most people, at least the most people worth mentioning.

Now I know what you are thinking.  Aren't there five boroughs?  Aren't you missing one?  Well, yes and no.  The last borough is, of course, Staten Island.  Staten Island is not represented by a house of Hogwart's.  Instead, Staten Island, is, you guessed it, Azkaban.  Yes, that's right.  Staten Island is like a prison.  You only go there if you absolutely have to.  It is far away, isolated in the ocean, and the only way to get back and forth from it is to be escorted by ferry.

So there you have it.  New York is like Hogwart's.  We come here from far away to become famous and powerful wizards and sorcerers.  We learn spells and other tricks, we display our talents, we fight our demons, and hopefully, we'll graduate with honors.  

I am in the summer between second and third year.  I've gotten my feet wet, faced a few challenges, made some friends, and learned a whole lot.  I'm about to start my third year, though, which means the greatest adventures are yet to come.