Build a Better You...Today!
An aunt of mine said something to me a while ago that struck me as an unequaled nugget of wisdom. It was in the midst of her travels to Quincy from her home on the east coast. She was having quite a bit of difficulty getting everything to work out as planned. There were complications with the airlines on which she and her daughter were traveling. Then there were complications with the car rental agency through which she was trying to rent a car. I don't quite remember the details, but suffice it to say, things were not going as planned. I was notified by phone about the problems that were going on, because as it happened, I was in the area, and I might have been able to help out. It turned out that I wasn't able to help out, but a particular thing my aunt said to me on the phone in the process of getting things sorted out stuck with me all this time, and I have recalled it in my mind often. So, now I wish to share it with all of whoever is reading this.
She told me after all this frustration, though not in an angry or frustrated tone of voice, "It is a character-building day."
I have had quite a number of those types of days myself, so my aunt's comment really hit home with me. I've had those types of days, similarly to most people, when I've been stranded by airlines, stranded by bus companies, when I've been at the mercy of someone else who is not conveniently thinking of my plans or schedule. I've had the days when every little thing makes you more and more frustrated and angry than the thing that frustrated you twenty minutes ago. The types of days that when people ask you about them, you just want to strangle them or worse or maybe just give them a speechless angry glare.
Those types of days are the type that seem to start off all wrong. If you went back and looked at it, you could pinpoint the moment when things took a turn for the worse, and continued in succession until you ended up all alone, miles away from where you were supposed to be by now, hours or days behind schedule, with none of your possessions, and with sweat stains caked under your arms and your hair not at all the way you would like it to look.
I've had those types of days that it seems like the whole world planned an attack on your life that day. Nothing is convenient. You come up with an idea to compensate for the initial plan not working out, and then that idea is blocked by some other party. The kind of day that you curse everyone under your breath, even though, on any other day, you would be more than nice to these people. The kind of day where you impulsively consider taking up smoking, because the people who are outside smoking cigarettes, even though you know in your mind they have made extremely poor health decisions, seem to have life all figured out at this moment, and they have enough time and life on their hands to smoke a cigarette.
We have all had those kinds of days. It is what unites us in this society at times. It is also what divides us at other times. It's what we do with that frustration and anger that counts.
What my aunt said to me really holds true in my mind. If you think of those kinds of days as "character-building" days, it puts a much more positive spin on the situation. And truthfully, no matter what consequences you face as a result of your mind-boggingly frustrating day, your personal experience, your character, is going to develop, even if you're not fully aware of it. I could definitely say that with every day I've had like that, I've learned something.
You may not be able to use everything you learn on those days, but chances are, you'll have a lot more perspective to look from than you did before.
If this is true, then over the course of the last year when I moved away from home, I have done nothing but build character. Nothing has been as frustrating in my life than trying to live the life I wanted to live in New York from New Jersey. I had nine months of solid character development. As much as I despised it, I can most definitely say I came away from it with so much personal growth, I could not replace those nine months of my life with any other.
I have been here for one year now. This weekend marks the one-year anniversary of when I departed my cozy home life in Quincy to take on the Big Apple. As I enter into my second year, I can fully attest that I have learned a great deal in the past year. I have developed more life experience than I ever thought, and I have come away with a self-satisfaction that was previously unmatched.
I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can accomplish what I came to do. I feel loved by family and friends. I have a job that I can tolerate and could possibly be content with for the time being.
It's still going to be a challenge. Success is not easy to attain no matter where you are. But I can chalk up a lot of character building to all my experiences in my past. I'm sure if you look back in your own life, you can also find times when you had to build a lot of character, and you can probably use that experience to make your future and your present a little better.
She told me after all this frustration, though not in an angry or frustrated tone of voice, "It is a character-building day."
I have had quite a number of those types of days myself, so my aunt's comment really hit home with me. I've had those types of days, similarly to most people, when I've been stranded by airlines, stranded by bus companies, when I've been at the mercy of someone else who is not conveniently thinking of my plans or schedule. I've had the days when every little thing makes you more and more frustrated and angry than the thing that frustrated you twenty minutes ago. The types of days that when people ask you about them, you just want to strangle them or worse or maybe just give them a speechless angry glare.
Those types of days are the type that seem to start off all wrong. If you went back and looked at it, you could pinpoint the moment when things took a turn for the worse, and continued in succession until you ended up all alone, miles away from where you were supposed to be by now, hours or days behind schedule, with none of your possessions, and with sweat stains caked under your arms and your hair not at all the way you would like it to look.
I've had those types of days that it seems like the whole world planned an attack on your life that day. Nothing is convenient. You come up with an idea to compensate for the initial plan not working out, and then that idea is blocked by some other party. The kind of day that you curse everyone under your breath, even though, on any other day, you would be more than nice to these people. The kind of day where you impulsively consider taking up smoking, because the people who are outside smoking cigarettes, even though you know in your mind they have made extremely poor health decisions, seem to have life all figured out at this moment, and they have enough time and life on their hands to smoke a cigarette.
We have all had those kinds of days. It is what unites us in this society at times. It is also what divides us at other times. It's what we do with that frustration and anger that counts.
What my aunt said to me really holds true in my mind. If you think of those kinds of days as "character-building" days, it puts a much more positive spin on the situation. And truthfully, no matter what consequences you face as a result of your mind-boggingly frustrating day, your personal experience, your character, is going to develop, even if you're not fully aware of it. I could definitely say that with every day I've had like that, I've learned something.
You may not be able to use everything you learn on those days, but chances are, you'll have a lot more perspective to look from than you did before.
If this is true, then over the course of the last year when I moved away from home, I have done nothing but build character. Nothing has been as frustrating in my life than trying to live the life I wanted to live in New York from New Jersey. I had nine months of solid character development. As much as I despised it, I can most definitely say I came away from it with so much personal growth, I could not replace those nine months of my life with any other.
I have been here for one year now. This weekend marks the one-year anniversary of when I departed my cozy home life in Quincy to take on the Big Apple. As I enter into my second year, I can fully attest that I have learned a great deal in the past year. I have developed more life experience than I ever thought, and I have come away with a self-satisfaction that was previously unmatched.
I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can accomplish what I came to do. I feel loved by family and friends. I have a job that I can tolerate and could possibly be content with for the time being.
It's still going to be a challenge. Success is not easy to attain no matter where you are. But I can chalk up a lot of character building to all my experiences in my past. I'm sure if you look back in your own life, you can also find times when you had to build a lot of character, and you can probably use that experience to make your future and your present a little better.
posted by Leland J. Fischer at 1:54 AM
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