How Dinosaurs Really Became Extinct
My new theory on how dinosaurs became extinct is that King Kong killed them all for sport until he wiped them all out. And then once they hadn't been around for a while, King Kong finally evolved into smaller gorillas because it wasn't necessary to be that size any more because there were no more dinosaurs to fight.
Peter Jackson's King Kong rocked my house like you wouldn't believe and to anybody who's house it didn't rock, you can just shut up. This is such a great movie that I had to sit here and write about it. King Kong is a remake, because we all know and have heard of the original King Kong movie, but unlike all other recent Hollywood flops, this one was a necessary remake. The reason is because King Kong was made more than 60 years ago and none of us have seen it and we weren't going to see it until it was remade. Let's face it, we've all seen our little brothers play with toy dinosaurs and action figures and destroy Lego cities and if that really interested us, we wouldn't go out on a Friday night and pay $7 to see a movie, because we can get that kind of cinema at home for free.
If we really wanted to watch some guy play with a toy gorilla and knock over models of New York City buildings for two hours, we'd rent King Kong and watch it. This is why King Kong needed to be remade. The truth of King Kong is that it's a great story, and the original movie boasted pioneering filmmaking feats that had never been done before. That's what made it a classic, and that's why the story needed to be retold so that future generations could actually appreciate it. Going into this movie, all I heard was negative criticism from the people who had seen it. It was too long, you didn't see the gorilla until halfway through the movie, too much special effects, etc., etc.
I loved this movie and here is why. First of all, Peter Jackson didn't put up with all the Hollywood bullshit by shortening his movie into the cookie cutter time frame of all other Hollywood propoganda. He took the time he needed to tell the story completely, from start to finish. I personally think the opening was a little rocky, but you forget about it once the story really kicks in. He didn't make the love scenes too mushy, which was great, because that is a typical Hollywood detail included in every movie, and it makes us all sick.
Now, what made me sick was some of the camera angles and shots used, because they actually made me dizzy. He did however make some of the action scenes a little mushy, and by that I mean they were often over the top, way too drawn out, and in a word "Titanicky". You don't want your action scenes to end up like they did in Titanic, because Titanic of course sucked, and everybody in that movie theater will be saying to themselves, "Just kill the ape already!"
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing a gorilla take on multiple Tyrannosaurus Rexes at one time just like the next guy, but it seemed like every time an action sequence was going, there was always one more thing to trip them up. For example, we've just been running from dinosaurs for twenty minutes and we've finally found safety, but oh look there's a giant centipede, and then you get away from that and you're falling off a cliff. It was just a little too predictable and a little too drawn-out for my tastes (which is probably what you're thinking about this essay right now).
Peter Jackson could have cut down his time a lot by shortening some of those scenes. The only other qualms I had with this movie were that when they got to the island and were fighting their way back to the boat, King Kong killed about 30 guys just by flicking them off into the trees or something, but on the way to the island, I swear there were only like a dozen people, and so when he's killing guys left and right, you're asking yourself, "Where did all these people come from?"
The only other thing wrong was that Naomi Watts, beautiful and dainty as she was, whilst swinging to and fro in Kong's hand, did not throw up once. This detail, I feel was excluded from an otherwise uncannily realistic picture. I feel like I could go on and on about this movie, but I don't want to ruin it for anybody who's reading this but hasn't seen it. You've got to go see this movie; it's way better on the big screen than it will be on TV, and you'll really enjoy it. If you're worried about special effects, don't be, because there were only a couple of shots where I could really tell that they were CGI, and none of them were of the gorilla.
Actually the gorilla is so realistically contrived, I'm willing to bet you'll feel the same way about him as Naomi Watts' character does in the movie. Hats off to Peter Jackson, who did an amazing job preserving something great without ruining it.
Peter Jackson's King Kong rocked my house like you wouldn't believe and to anybody who's house it didn't rock, you can just shut up. This is such a great movie that I had to sit here and write about it. King Kong is a remake, because we all know and have heard of the original King Kong movie, but unlike all other recent Hollywood flops, this one was a necessary remake. The reason is because King Kong was made more than 60 years ago and none of us have seen it and we weren't going to see it until it was remade. Let's face it, we've all seen our little brothers play with toy dinosaurs and action figures and destroy Lego cities and if that really interested us, we wouldn't go out on a Friday night and pay $7 to see a movie, because we can get that kind of cinema at home for free.
If we really wanted to watch some guy play with a toy gorilla and knock over models of New York City buildings for two hours, we'd rent King Kong and watch it. This is why King Kong needed to be remade. The truth of King Kong is that it's a great story, and the original movie boasted pioneering filmmaking feats that had never been done before. That's what made it a classic, and that's why the story needed to be retold so that future generations could actually appreciate it. Going into this movie, all I heard was negative criticism from the people who had seen it. It was too long, you didn't see the gorilla until halfway through the movie, too much special effects, etc., etc.
I loved this movie and here is why. First of all, Peter Jackson didn't put up with all the Hollywood bullshit by shortening his movie into the cookie cutter time frame of all other Hollywood propoganda. He took the time he needed to tell the story completely, from start to finish. I personally think the opening was a little rocky, but you forget about it once the story really kicks in. He didn't make the love scenes too mushy, which was great, because that is a typical Hollywood detail included in every movie, and it makes us all sick.
Now, what made me sick was some of the camera angles and shots used, because they actually made me dizzy. He did however make some of the action scenes a little mushy, and by that I mean they were often over the top, way too drawn out, and in a word "Titanicky". You don't want your action scenes to end up like they did in Titanic, because Titanic of course sucked, and everybody in that movie theater will be saying to themselves, "Just kill the ape already!"
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing a gorilla take on multiple Tyrannosaurus Rexes at one time just like the next guy, but it seemed like every time an action sequence was going, there was always one more thing to trip them up. For example, we've just been running from dinosaurs for twenty minutes and we've finally found safety, but oh look there's a giant centipede, and then you get away from that and you're falling off a cliff. It was just a little too predictable and a little too drawn-out for my tastes (which is probably what you're thinking about this essay right now).
Peter Jackson could have cut down his time a lot by shortening some of those scenes. The only other qualms I had with this movie were that when they got to the island and were fighting their way back to the boat, King Kong killed about 30 guys just by flicking them off into the trees or something, but on the way to the island, I swear there were only like a dozen people, and so when he's killing guys left and right, you're asking yourself, "Where did all these people come from?"
The only other thing wrong was that Naomi Watts, beautiful and dainty as she was, whilst swinging to and fro in Kong's hand, did not throw up once. This detail, I feel was excluded from an otherwise uncannily realistic picture. I feel like I could go on and on about this movie, but I don't want to ruin it for anybody who's reading this but hasn't seen it. You've got to go see this movie; it's way better on the big screen than it will be on TV, and you'll really enjoy it. If you're worried about special effects, don't be, because there were only a couple of shots where I could really tell that they were CGI, and none of them were of the gorilla.
Actually the gorilla is so realistically contrived, I'm willing to bet you'll feel the same way about him as Naomi Watts' character does in the movie. Hats off to Peter Jackson, who did an amazing job preserving something great without ruining it.
posted by Leland J. Fischer at 12:40 AM
