To Chew

I don't care what anybody says, if you chew chewing tobacco, you're just a bad-ass. It doesn't matter what anybody says about cancer or breath problems, you may die five years earlier or be stinky your whole life, but at least you'll do it with attitude. I've seen cigarette smokers and I know cigarette smokers, but not one of them has told me that they actually like the taste of cigarettes.
I know I can't stand the smell of them, and even when I smoke the occasional cigar, I do so ever so slightly, never inhaling, and spitting the stale tobacco-flavored saliva from my mouth every chance I get. There's just no way around it, putting that chew in your mouth and having the juices soak up in there all day long says a great deal about your personality. I'll tell you, if you see some guy walking around with that pouch in the side of his lip just sitting there while he goes on doing his merry business, that is a sure-fire sign that that guy is one tough mother fucker.