What you want

When I first felt the pain and discomfort of coming back to Quincy after I had lost my father, I received a lot of attention and pity and handouts. I didn't necessarily receive the support I wanted. I don't think that kind of support was available from anyone except my father.
It's been more than a year now since I've had to live without that support and now whenever I come back to Quincy I don't necessarily feel the pain, though I know it's still there, but I feel a lot of discomfort. Whenever somebody dies, the cliche goes around about what "he/she would have wanted". We all have these fictitious ideas of what we think the deceased would have really wanted. We look to the last will and testament of the deceased and find out what kind of state they wanted us to be in if and when they passed. But nobody really knows what they wanted. Only they did. And it always happens that they just didn't have time to tell us what it was.

What you want is important. It is part of what makes you who you are and what you do. It could be a little more than you need at times; and it could be something that nobody would ever expect of you. But if it's what you want, it's what makes you. You have to live life the way you want it. Nobody else is going to know what you want. If you don't live your life with what you want in mind, you're not going to get it, and what you want will be lost and forgotten right along with you.