Armageddon

Worlds collide...
The impossible happens...
The sky rips open to unleash a bleeding hand; it reaches down and plucks the last life of everything sacred that would have covered the earth. Fires erupt spontaneously, animals retreat into their habitats. Plants curl up and die. The ground becomes dark, damp, and lifeless all across the countryside. Cities crumble, governments fold, anarchy breeds, and martial law rules the land. It questions the mind, inquires the soul, puts into perspective the very meaning of life.
How could it happen? Was it some kind of sign from God, some kind of divine intervention?
Would God actually want the Red Sox to win? Or was it a mistake?
Was the Great Bambino paying too much attention to the upcoming election to care about his own stinking curse?
Did Rodney Dangerfield have some kind of swing voice? And will that get him any respect?
I don't have an answer. I am still in shock. But I do think that these events will have a profound effect on baseball's future history and perhaps the history and remainder of humanity.

Evolution of Irons (continued)

It is true that Kevin, the main character played by Machaulay Culkin in Home Alone used an iron to thwart the sticky bandits when they broke into his house. However, since 1991, when the film was made, amazing leaps and bounds have been made in the technology of modern household irons. I bring your attention to exhibit A, http://www.blackanddeckerappliances.com/product_detail.asp?T1=APP%20S620

You need not look any further to find that in the past thirteen years, home irons have gotten to the point where they could no longer be considered heavy artillery. Thus, I stand by my original statement.

Evolution of Irons

The way the modern laundry iron is evolving, becoming more convenient and safe for the average household consumer, I don't think it would be possible to use an iron in a fight and say, kill someone. The iron used to be a chief staple of heavy, blunt objects, that when thrown from one side of a room to another, and let's say, directly into another human being, would cause a good, healthy amount of pain and bleeding.
It was a key ingredient to safety in the household, especially when coming under fire whilst doing daily chores. But today's modern iron, built out of cheap plastics and light metals, would be a sure misfire if one tried to chuck it across the room if for some reason a skirmish broke out in the middle of a laundromat. Why, with some of today's futuristic irons, you couldn't even use the cord to choke a person if you really needed to. Because household product manufacturers, such as Black & Decker, are gearing more towards making the household a more convenient and energy-efficient workplace, and making many of their products cordless, they leave the homemaker defenseless in case of an attack. The only chance a homemaker would have to thwart a cutthroat, murderous burglar would be to smother him/her in someone's dirty underwear, which in all actuality, nobody wants to touch, even if it is self-defense.

The Knack

You can give all the credit in the world to having common sense or having gained intelligence, but I'll tell you, some things in life you could have all the common sense in the world or have studied for days and weeks and months on end, and you'll still never get it right. Some things in life just take "the knack."
It is true that some people excel in common sense and they have what some people refer to as "street smarts." And it is also true that some people just learn differently and need to really study a process and how it works and are terrific problem solvers. These people would have what is called "book smarts." But there is a different breed of intelligence out there altogether. It is so different, in fact, that one might not even be able to call it a form of intelligence.
It is "the knack" and it is something that certain people just happen to have for certain types of situations. It's not something that they gained through research and independent study, and it is certainly not common. It's just instinctive for certain people to do certain things well. For example, one could argue that Albert Pujols, the First Baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals, just has the knack for hitting the baseball. Stats and superstitions aside, anyone could tell plain as day, that when Albert Pujols gets pitched to, he hits the ball and he hits it well. He does not possess a great amount of intelligence, and he is certainly as common a man as you or me, save the fact that he has a great "knack" for hitting the baseball.
On the other side of the coin, it could be said that I do not have the knack for sweeping hardwood floors, as I learned today whilst doing household chores. But I will say this, I can sing the Beach Boys to my heart's content as I'm getting dust all over the kitchen, and I would like to think that I might have a certain knack for that.

This one goes out to Andrew Mays

Andrew Mays, whom I usually describe to people who don't know him as my red-haired friend, turned me on to this website/message board/public soap box for all the internet-accessible world to see. Blogger, they call it. It doesn't mean anything to me, but I decided to embrace popular culture and give it a try, as it is "all the new rage." I guess I could say I might enjoy it for a few reasons. One reason is that I've always considered myself a relatively wise guy and could use this opportunity to shed some of my wisdom on the rest of the common world. Another reason is that I have in recent years found out that I am what could be called a decent writer, and so as my thoughts spiral onward into mindless published abyss, it gives me the opportunity to not only write exactly what I think, but also the opportunity for anyone to critique me in as many ways and in whatever ways they deem possible and/or necessary. Thus, I'm giving you this chance to have at it.
Lastly but not leastly, Andrew Mays inspired me by telling me he might actually enjoy my ramblings and hashings that I might bestow upon this cruel, unforgiving world. So really, this is just for him. Andrew Mays, God bless him, he's got so much going for him. He goes to a good school, he's got a good family, his dad just got appointed circuit court judge, and he's just got a good head on his shoulders. But he's got that red hair, and that's just something he's gonna have to live with, unless, of course, he goes bald, in which case I would feel extremely sorry for him, 'cause I've seen Ron Howard without a hat on and that's just weird.

Yours truly,